Why I disappeared

Hey Y'all!

Except for my just now published post that I wrote back in February, I have been MIA since said month. There are a lot of reasons for that!

#1 I was stress paralyzed. No seriously. For several months. I mean I moved around, worked out (yes, I actually hired a personal trainer! What!) met with friends, etc. But I was still so swamped with therapies, between Nia and Isaiah we had 6 sessions a week! Add work, Dr. appointments and the household to the equation, the physical and emotional exhaustion of a 7 month deployment and wait for it, an international move by myself (apparently I did so well by myself during those 7 months, I needed another 2 months by myself!) and voila, I give you a mom having a 6 month moment!

#2 I was preparing for an overseas move that I was going to master by myself, yet again. In March we received our assignment, a special duty assignment in Ramstein, Germany! Something Joseph was selected for, something we've been waiting for ever since we hit the 2 year mark in Minot. But this assignment didn't turn into orders easily. We had to fight for it, appeal their denial for Isaiah's medical clearance. I could go into the details but that would another blog post. Let's just say the joys of military health care....

#3 With preparing for this move came more things than just the obvious selling stuff, canceling memberships, packing and cleaning. When you have a special needs child, you have to prepare for far more! Getting medical records from every specialist, like that 400+ page CD the hospital sent to Isaiah's PCM but then miraculously disappeared. Meetings for exiting out of Early Intervention, final meetings with therapists, the school district, IEP team....

#4 I honestly felt like I had nothing important to say! I've felt like that for a long time. I now think it had a lot to do with my emotional exhaustion. I felt like I had nothing important to say because I didn't feel important. Don't feel sorry for me though. I've snapped out of it. It was just part of that moment I had.

#5 I'm grieving. With a move come many goodbyes, some aren't a big deal at all, you actually may feel relief. Others are painful but after the first couple of months you're ok. Then there the few that tear at your very soul! I had only a select few of those. People, where the very thought of them still makes me break out in tears 4 months later.

It also didn't help that we didn't have Internet from July til October. We've had a crazy past 6 months! But that's part of the military life. Just like the TDY we were graced with a week after the kids and I joined Joseph here in Germany. Now many of my friends and family said it's not fair because we just got reunited as a family. Well, that too is part of the military. And of Joseph's job here. He's not working his regular job, he has what they like to call a "TDY job". His unit sends people to different locations for a short and sometimes not so short time in order to do different jobs. We just happened to get here right before one of those TDYs. It was supposed to be 3 weeks, it turned into 2 months. Right before his return, I received our household goods by myself. Seems fair, I mean I sent them off myself. And yes, we were told I could just stay behind because I'm just the spouse. I'll address this in another post ;)
Anyway, those TDYs are the price we're paying in order to be here. We knew this was part of the deal, do we love it? No. But it's a price worth paying to see our children be with family, mainly they're Opa, my dad. His world is not complete without them and neither is theirs. They have an incredibly special bond. Or to see Isaiah's health improve immensely! Seeing him getting treatments, medications and therapies he needs, without me having to fight with doctors! Priceless!!! I will go into the details another time. For now I'll leave you with this long post.

Love,
Mimi