See, being a mom, and especially a mom of a child with special needs can be so exhausting. But usually we don't notice that we are emotionally and physically drained. Why? Because we don't get a break from it. We run from therapy sessions to doctor appointments to more appointments. And my days were not even half as packed as the days of some of the moms of fellow stroke survivors! When we stopped therapy shortly before we left for our trip and I didn't have all this running around anymore, it all started to come to the surface! And I didn't know what to do. So we thought visiting family will give us a nice break and we'll come back refreshed. Well, like I said we didn't. Or at least I didn't. It wasn't until I came back from the Women of Faith conference that this burden has finally started to be lifted off my shoulders. And here's why: these past months I've been looking in all the wrong places to find what I needed. My family, my friends, a spa visit, shopping...but where did I not look? I didn't seek God! And He is all I needed. The thing I've been struggling with the most is feeling unappreciated. While my husband and kids do appreciate me I just haven't been feeling it. It's not their fault, it's me. So this past weekend I did what I should've been doing all this time. I gave it all to God, I thought I had done so already but truly, I was still holding on to it. I had not fully released all my frustration, exhaustion and feelings. It would've been easy to say the devil stole my joy but that's far from the truth. See, the devil can't steal anything from you. You give it to him and he takes it. I'm not saying you just go "hey devil, want my joy? Here ya go!", no, it's not like that at all. He tempts us to give it to him. He will put doubt and fear in our minds and if we don't guard our mind we totally fall for it. It's just easier for us to say he stole it. He took it, that's true but we allow him to take it because we don't tell him, he's a liar. And that he is! This past weekend I got my joy back. There was a lot of cleansing
So this is my testimony about my own victory. I have another testimony though, about Isaiah's victory! While in Germany, we celebrated his first birthday! A birthday we were not sure he would see when he stopped breathing a day after he was born. That alone is worth rejoicing! But God didn't stop there. No, he not only saved our son's life, He also restored and healed his hemiplegia so much, that it is barely noticeable! We just had his annual evaluation with the Early Intervention Program and Isaiah scored so high that if it had been his initial evaluation he would not have even qualified! He was ahead of his age in his cognitive skills and right where he needs to be physically with everything but walking. In the meantime, Isaiah has started to walk and climb down the stairs (he was able to climb up but not down for the longest) so that is not a concern anymore either. God has been so good to us, He has been there for us in our darkest moment almost 14 months ago and in every other moment. He has truly blessed us! Now we're just waiting for Him to bless us with orders back to Germany, haha. Well, we're hopeful but whatever God has in store for us we will take it. Our plans may not be His plans for us but He sees the big picture while we just see a fraction so we will trust Him and not lean on our own understanding. I pray that this is speaking to somebody today, know that God is with you every step of the way, all you need to do is cry out to Him.
God bless you. Love,
