An announcement and a new diy dining room table

Hey y'all!

Since getting our household goods back in mid September, we've been unpacking and organizing, turning this house into a home. But as my fellow military friends know every house is different, so furniture you have had may not fit or closets you had in the previous house may not exist. The latter is very much the case for us. You see, it's not exactly common in Germany to have built in closets. A lot of homeowners are now adding them to their newly built houses but there are plenty of houses where you need to buy armoires, or what the Americans here now refer to as a "shrunk" (they actually mean the German word Schrank, which basically means armoire or wardrobe). Anywho. We got some basic wall lockers from the military for our master but after FMO came to pick up the loaning furniture we had to get some furniture for this place.

We went to one of my all time favorite stores - Ikea! Oh how I have missed you! The kids got some armoires and we bought some shoe storage to go underneath the stairs in the basement. On our next trip there we also got a entertainment center for the playroom but you'll get all the deets at an upcoming house tour ;)

The only thing we couldn't decide on was dining room set. See, I'm frugal and after seeing how some of our furniture was treated by the movers, there was no way I'd spend $600 or more on a table that might possibly get damaged during the next move. Especially since the one my heart was longing for sold out on www.home24.de (insert major sad face here). I wanted a farmhouse table, something bright but rustic. Then I remembered my good friend Pinterest and all the lovely plans I had pinned for redoing and building furniture. Joseph called me crazy, no really, those were his exact words!

He's the type that buys furniture new, hopefully having to assemble as little as possible. So I think part of him was nervous about the work I just volunteered him to and the other part questioned the sanity of his 4 months pregnant wife. And there you have our announcement! We're due towards the end of April and are just as surprised as you are because it certainly wasn't planned! See how I did that? Smooth, huh? No? However, he should have kind of expected this. I have a pattern. When I was pregnant with Nia I built a faux fireplace that now cozies up my friend Stephanie's home, when pregnant with Isaiah I refurbished a toddler bed for Nia, painted the nursery and sewed Nia's bedding set. So why break the tradition this time?

I took the plans from Jamielyn over at iheartnaptime, who got the original plans from Ana White, the queen of all things diy! You can find the post here. I changed things a bit though. I didn't drill pocket holes, instead I used l-shaped steel brackets. I got all my supplies from OBI, a German store like Home Depot. I ordered the curved legs and the table top, I went with a table top instead of single planks this time. Everything was bought in one trip, the stain in colonial brown, the paint in a greyish white, spax screws, the brackets, sandpaper, paint brushes, clear coat and of course masks! Gotta keep that baby safe. By the way, the stain and paint we used didn't have strong fumes anyway, since this isn't my first rodeo I knew which ones to get.

My dad came for the weekend and he was actualy pretty excited to help me with my project. Four hands are simply better than two. Together we assembled the base of the table with the nifty brackets, spax screws and my beloved DeWALT drill. SPAX screws make your life so much easier since there's no pre-drilling required with the pine wood I used. After we assembled the base, I sanded it with 180 grit sand paper and painted it with OBI 2in1 paint (primer and paint in one). It only took two coats to achieve the look I wanted. While the base dried I sanded the table top. The next day my dad left so the rest was all on me. I stained the bottom of the table top but only the parts you can see. It's a water based stain so it dries rather quickly. Once dry I attached the top to the base and stained the top. I used an old T-shirt to wipe off the extra stain in between, giving it a smoother and more even look. After 4 coats I was happy with the color. Once the stain was dry, I put on the clear coat.

It was an easy 2 day project. The cost of the table was about 160 Euro, half of what it would've cost at the store in this size. I still have enough stain and paint for the chairs and probably even other projects so I could've spent even less. The only thing that required Joseph's help was carrying it into the dining room from the garage. Here it is still without chairs:

As you can see the table top has a more rough and rustic look which is exactly what I wanted. The table at the store looked too polished for my liking. I think it gives it more character. For the chairs we went to, you guessed it, Ikea. We bought inexpensive wooden chairs for 19.99 Euro a piece, unfinished so I can stain and paint them to match the table. This will have to wait until the spring though, in the meantime we're using the chair covers we already had.

The centerpiece is the greenhouse from Ikea with some led candles and fall décor in it. I still need a few items for it. I'm also thinking about getting two wicker chairs for the short sides of the table and put the three covered chairs on each long side. My dream wicker chairs are $100/each though so I might need to settle for a cheaper version. I also haven't decided on a rug yet but I know I want one to go underneath the table. It was a fun project but I have to admit I missed my dear friend Ally from Home by Ally.  When we were stationed together in Minot, we'd go thrifting together, sew together and she was there for Isaiah's birth. You should go check out her page! She's super talented with both furniture and photography and if you're in Florida and are looking to buy a home, she's your gal as she's also a licensed real estate agent there. If you're lucky you can go snag one of her redone pieces at Vintage Living Marketplace. She would've been my perfect partner in crime for this, especially now that Joseph asked what I'm building next.

And just because the pregnancy announcement wouldn't be complete without a picture of baby, here you go:

Love y'all!

Mimi

Why I disappeared

Hey Y'all!

Except for my just now published post that I wrote back in February, I have been MIA since said month. There are a lot of reasons for that!

#1 I was stress paralyzed. No seriously. For several months. I mean I moved around, worked out (yes, I actually hired a personal trainer! What!) met with friends, etc. But I was still so swamped with therapies, between Nia and Isaiah we had 6 sessions a week! Add work, Dr. appointments and the household to the equation, the physical and emotional exhaustion of a 7 month deployment and wait for it, an international move by myself (apparently I did so well by myself during those 7 months, I needed another 2 months by myself!) and voila, I give you a mom having a 6 month moment!

#2 I was preparing for an overseas move that I was going to master by myself, yet again. In March we received our assignment, a special duty assignment in Ramstein, Germany! Something Joseph was selected for, something we've been waiting for ever since we hit the 2 year mark in Minot. But this assignment didn't turn into orders easily. We had to fight for it, appeal their denial for Isaiah's medical clearance. I could go into the details but that would another blog post. Let's just say the joys of military health care....

#3 With preparing for this move came more things than just the obvious selling stuff, canceling memberships, packing and cleaning. When you have a special needs child, you have to prepare for far more! Getting medical records from every specialist, like that 400+ page CD the hospital sent to Isaiah's PCM but then miraculously disappeared. Meetings for exiting out of Early Intervention, final meetings with therapists, the school district, IEP team....

#4 I honestly felt like I had nothing important to say! I've felt like that for a long time. I now think it had a lot to do with my emotional exhaustion. I felt like I had nothing important to say because I didn't feel important. Don't feel sorry for me though. I've snapped out of it. It was just part of that moment I had.

#5 I'm grieving. With a move come many goodbyes, some aren't a big deal at all, you actually may feel relief. Others are painful but after the first couple of months you're ok. Then there the few that tear at your very soul! I had only a select few of those. People, where the very thought of them still makes me break out in tears 4 months later.

It also didn't help that we didn't have Internet from July til October. We've had a crazy past 6 months! But that's part of the military life. Just like the TDY we were graced with a week after the kids and I joined Joseph here in Germany. Now many of my friends and family said it's not fair because we just got reunited as a family. Well, that too is part of the military. And of Joseph's job here. He's not working his regular job, he has what they like to call a "TDY job". His unit sends people to different locations for a short and sometimes not so short time in order to do different jobs. We just happened to get here right before one of those TDYs. It was supposed to be 3 weeks, it turned into 2 months. Right before his return, I received our household goods by myself. Seems fair, I mean I sent them off myself. And yes, we were told I could just stay behind because I'm just the spouse. I'll address this in another post ;)
Anyway, those TDYs are the price we're paying in order to be here. We knew this was part of the deal, do we love it? No. But it's a price worth paying to see our children be with family, mainly they're Opa, my dad. His world is not complete without them and neither is theirs. They have an incredibly special bond. Or to see Isaiah's health improve immensely! Seeing him getting treatments, medications and therapies he needs, without me having to fight with doctors! Priceless!!! I will go into the details another time. For now I'll leave you with this long post.

Love,
Mimi

Do you really understand how I feel?

Disclaimer: This post was originally written in February 2014 but was never published.


Remember I said I was going to address the last group of people mentioned in my last post? If not, read about it here. Well, I noticed I barely even covered the other 2 groups of people. I really just addressed the friends that want to help us cope but go about it in not exactly the best way.

So let me address the "I know how you feel" and "I get it" people. They more than likely don't know how you feel and don't get it. Unless, they've walked your and your child's walk, they will only be able to imagine how you feel. And even if their child has gone through something similar, our stories all differ in one way or another. So there are things I can relate to and some I can only imagine. And sometimes even that is hard. But that's OK! What we all need to remind ourselves of is, that those kind of friends really want to help but don't know the right words to say. At least the majority of them. So be patient with them, smile and say thank you for listening. You don't need to tell them that they really don't understand, they more than likely know it already but simply didn't know what else to say. It can be difficult to find the right words to say. Friends, let me tell you, sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. A hug, holding our hand or just a comforting smile can go so much further. Being honest about the fact that you can't even imagine how to feel is ok too. You don't have to know the right words to say. All we want, is to know you're listening and that you'll be there if we need you. That's what means the most to us.

Now about that last category, I've had friends who told me "he doesn't look like he had a stroke" when they found out about Isaiah's diagnosis back when he was a baby. Back then I had mixed feelings about this statement, on the one hand I knew most of them meant well. But at the same time I couldn't help but think "what do you imagine a stroke survivor to look like?". At the time Isaiah was a baby, so he didn't do much just yet. He wasn't sitting up yet, crawling, walking, talking, so his disability was barely visible at all. He clenched his right hand in a fist and had a hard time pushing up on that hand but for the untrained eye he looked like every other baby. Pediatric stroke shows itself in many different ways, some kids had a stroke and there are no issues at all. Hence so many kids going undiagnosed til later in life. Others were so affected by it that their disability is more visible. Not every disability is visible, someone with a seizure disorder (many stroke survivors have seizures) for instance, does not look a specific way. Now that we've come a long way thanks to therapies and hard work, I'm reminded what an amazing fighter Isaiah is when people say it. Let me tell you just exactly how hard this boy fights. As you already know, Isaiah has right sided hemiplegia, weakness in the right side, because of his stroke. He uses the right hand really well but mainly as an assisting hand. Lately however, he's been trying more and more to use the right hand primarily and assists with his left! Especially at dinner time. He even gets upset when we offer him his fork or spoon and try to put it in his left hand!

Time changes things. 2 1/2 years ago I was more upset at people saying he didn't look like he had a stroke, today it makes me proud of how far he has come. I initially wrote this post because of an inspiring comment from a fellow stroke survivor parent. But also because I came across so many parents being mad at everyone who doesn't know the difference between a brace and a cast and instead of raising awareness and educating them, they unintentionally push them away. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of moments when I feel everything but kind enough to explain. When a bystander tries to tell me what to do about my son's meltdown for example, thinking he's just having a tantrum and not knowing the difference. Or a friend telling me he's going to grow out of it, whether they refer to the seizures, the sensory issues or the stroke altogether. Sometimes it is not easy to smile and explain but at the end of the day it makes more of a difference than pushing someone away because you felt their statement was ignorant or hurtful. By explaining in a kind way I may increase their knowledge and understanding and therefore change their view.

Love,
Mimi